The Night Before Mining-Patch

[Vogar Eol]

Twas the night before Mining-Patch and all through CoS Hall
Not a single dwarf was stirring, not warrior nor thrall.
And I in my armor, my greaves and my helm
Was drunker than any one dwarf in the Realm.

I staggered upstairs and fell into bed
While four quarts of mead were ablaze in my head.
Then up from below came the sounds of a brawl
So I grabbed up my axe and ran down into the Hall.

I missed the last step and crashed down in a heap
Thinking, "Why can't those low-lifes downstairs go to sleep!"
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But two brawny strangers, wielding mallet and spear.

I said to myself, "We'll soon have them beat!"
Then I noticed ten warriors laid out at their feet.
I gave out a yell and leapt into the fray...
I'll always regret my poor choice of that day.

For the one laid his hammer to the side of my nose
And up, up, up and into the rafters I rose.
Then came a lone frightened voice from the floor,
"Those are no mortal warriors -- that's Balthildis and Hor!"

Then they looked at each other and they said, "Battle's done.
Now they know who we are, it no longer is fun."
Then Hor raised high one arm, and one elbow he bent,
And with a loud crash, through the ceiling they went.

I crawled through the Hall and flung open the door,
Not really sure that I'd seen them before.
The snow bathed in starlight, the moon like a glede,
I saw them ride off on an eight-legged chaos steed.

And I heard them exclaim,
'ere they flew out of sight,
"TO HELL WITH MINING,
WE JUST LOVE A GOOD FIGHT!"

[Cyradis Khar'Del]

We're Miners, Not Minors

Deep in the mountains where the earth is gold,
Where we all need beards cause it gets so cold,
We dwarves live, so it is told,
And savagely crack at rock with cries of 'GOLD GOLD GOLD!'

No one ever tells you that our hair goes green,
In the moist dark caverns that no man has seen,
Cracking rocks all day should make a guy lean,
But an appetite for ale gives us beer-guts mean.

Many men complain of the dwarfy smell,
I won't say too much of that -just don't sniff well
We may be short, but our axe strikes well
Whether to find shiny stone or make you yell.

Chorus: Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum,
I will take whatever drink wherever it come,
Wait -I saw you spit in that, now I don't want some!
-But yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

- Emyia, Circle of Steel

(to be updated soon)