Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
number?"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on it's
6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at
Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email
address is sheehan@home.net
. Which
number are you calling from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"
Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will
add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer: "What? What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like
it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
overdrawn also."
Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle
can be a little awkward."
Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a 'cycle?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
yesterday."
Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
July 4, 2004 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here
in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits
this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"
ordering pizza in 2010
Moderators: Moderators, Caretakers, Imps
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Vogar Eol
- Dual-Avatar
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- Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 11:39 pm
- Location: Darstan, Alora
- Contact:
A lot of Law Enforcement personel would have to up and die first. You can't see them giving up pizza and donuts can you? As one of them, I can say that world won't happen quite so soon.
"Everything you think, do, and say
was in the pill you took today."
-- Zager and Evans
"Everything you think, do, and say
was in the pill you took today."
-- Zager and Evans
~Vogar Eol, Beater of Blades
Thane Ezbad, The Circle of Steel
Thane Ezbad, The Circle of Steel
I wouldn't be so sure on that Vogar. Our rights are being taken away as we speak.
Columbus, Oh and NYC (and I am failing to mention others - not to mention Cincinnati, Oh is CURRENTLY trying to adopt this - public smoking has been banned, and I don't mean the restaurtants, bars..etc. <--that's obvious, but it is now illegal to smoke in public and they are working on you not being able to smoke in your own car. It currently is a 50 dollar fine if you are caught smoking in public.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on in North Dakota.
In Nogales, Arizona, it is illegal to wear suspenders. O.o
In Virginia, it is illegal for people to wear low cut jeans/pants that may expose the waistband of your underwear - 150 dollar fine. =) *Pull up the pants Jim* *grins*
In the state of Washington, it's illegal to catch a fish by throwing a rock at it.
It's against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.
A barber is not to advertise prices in the State of Georgia. *Grampa still found a way =P
In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal. O.o
In Ohio, women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
In 23 states, Breast feeding is not allowed in public. *Sister was kindly asked go the restroom and continue the business or there would be a problem.
Clinton, Oh - Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines.
Carmel, CA - Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk.
Cathedral, CA - It is prohibited to sleep in a parked vehicle.
Downey, CA - It is illegal to wash your car in the street.
NC - Even if the accident wasn't your fault, your insurance premium will still raise, state law. *Sorry sis =(
NC - If you get a ticket in another state exceeding 15 over the limit, your license is suspended. *Slow down sis!
Long Beach, CA - Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.
Believe me, there are others, I just can't spend all day writing them down! There ARE some states that still have what they call 'crazy laws' that have been passed decades ago - and I mean DECADES, but aren't enforced. But these are current laws that either my family or friends have been directly influenced by, or that I have personally read some particular story. I live in Ohio, btw.
OH! EDIT: I know a school that has made it illegal for teachers to smoke/drink in the county in which they live in. Now, that's just wrong. next thing they are going to do is tell teachers how to dress. *Please strip please, we want to make sure you aren't wearing any thongs*
Columbus, Oh and NYC (and I am failing to mention others - not to mention Cincinnati, Oh is CURRENTLY trying to adopt this - public smoking has been banned, and I don't mean the restaurtants, bars..etc. <--that's obvious, but it is now illegal to smoke in public and they are working on you not being able to smoke in your own car. It currently is a 50 dollar fine if you are caught smoking in public.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on in North Dakota.
In Nogales, Arizona, it is illegal to wear suspenders. O.o
In Virginia, it is illegal for people to wear low cut jeans/pants that may expose the waistband of your underwear - 150 dollar fine. =) *Pull up the pants Jim* *grins*
In the state of Washington, it's illegal to catch a fish by throwing a rock at it.
It's against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.
A barber is not to advertise prices in the State of Georgia. *Grampa still found a way =P
In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal. O.o
In Ohio, women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
In 23 states, Breast feeding is not allowed in public. *Sister was kindly asked go the restroom and continue the business or there would be a problem.
Clinton, Oh - Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines.
Carmel, CA - Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk.
Cathedral, CA - It is prohibited to sleep in a parked vehicle.
Downey, CA - It is illegal to wash your car in the street.
NC - Even if the accident wasn't your fault, your insurance premium will still raise, state law. *Sorry sis =(
NC - If you get a ticket in another state exceeding 15 over the limit, your license is suspended. *Slow down sis!
Long Beach, CA - Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.
Believe me, there are others, I just can't spend all day writing them down! There ARE some states that still have what they call 'crazy laws' that have been passed decades ago - and I mean DECADES, but aren't enforced. But these are current laws that either my family or friends have been directly influenced by, or that I have personally read some particular story. I live in Ohio, btw.
OH! EDIT: I know a school that has made it illegal for teachers to smoke/drink in the county in which they live in. Now, that's just wrong. next thing they are going to do is tell teachers how to dress. *Please strip please, we want to make sure you aren't wearing any thongs*
Last edited by Nellwyn on Sun Feb 20, 2005 8:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
~ Nellwyn Dro'han, Queen - Kingdom of Cargonia, Mark of the Sun Dragon ~
Ooo don't forget the silly laws where i live!
Oregon:
You may not pump your own gas in service stations. (this ones really annoying to me, not only are the attendents really slow, but one of the arguments for the law is that "You smell like a refinery when you pump your own gas.")
Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink.
People may not whistle underwater.
Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.
One may not box with a kangaroo.
It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
Or where i used to live, Alaska:
Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. (I just think its funny that they're all about moose
)
Oregon:
You may not pump your own gas in service stations. (this ones really annoying to me, not only are the attendents really slow, but one of the arguments for the law is that "You smell like a refinery when you pump your own gas.")
Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink.
People may not whistle underwater.
Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.
One may not box with a kangaroo.
It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
Or where i used to live, Alaska:
Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. (I just think its funny that they're all about moose
)Dúnadan Estel
Lat., Insipientis est dicere, Non putarum.
[It is the part of a fool to say, I should not have thought.]
-Publius Cornelius Scipio Africanus
Lat., Insipientis est dicere, Non putarum.
[It is the part of a fool to say, I should not have thought.]
-Publius Cornelius Scipio Africanus
You might want to take note that all (most) of these laws are extremley old, some have been revoked, and none (or almost none) are actually enforced, or known.
That would be really funny lol. Nice post...... though it's not likely to happen. Huge breech of privacy. I'd love to argue with someone about getting a pizza though. lol Very nice.
That would be really funny lol. Nice post...... though it's not likely to happen. Huge breech of privacy.
I'd love to argue with someone about getting a pizza though. lol Very nice.-
Vogar Eol
- Dual-Avatar
- Posts: 389
- Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 11:39 pm
- Location: Darstan, Alora
- Contact:
Most cities have ordinances against flying kites. You may think this started because of powerlines and safety issues because of them. However it was because horses would get spooked by the kites, and cause accidents and damage to propperty.
Also, gangs used to use candles and tissue-paper ballons to make kites and little hot-air ballons. Those started more then one massive fire in the days of only crude fire-fighters.
Also, gangs used to use candles and tissue-paper ballons to make kites and little hot-air ballons. Those started more then one massive fire in the days of only crude fire-fighters.
~Vogar Eol, Beater of Blades
Thane Ezbad, The Circle of Steel
Thane Ezbad, The Circle of Steel
-
Gilgolad
- Dual-Avatar
- Posts: 309
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 4:55 pm
- Location: The Garrison at Hammerford, Hammerford Alora
Funny Story!!!
These laws absolutly HILLARIOUS!!!!!! Chloes story is really cool too 
Those law makers should be kicked where it counts.
It is now illegal in New York to smoke in resturants and bars, not that i care, but i think smokeing should be allowed in bars at least. Its just what you do there right? That part of the law should be burned.
Those law makers should be kicked where it counts.
It is now illegal in New York to smoke in resturants and bars, not that i care, but i think smokeing should be allowed in bars at least. Its just what you do there right? That part of the law should be burned.
Gilgolad
Order Of Angels
<Order Of Heaven>
And the angels sang in immaculate chorus, and down from the heavens decended Chuck Norris!
Order Of Angels
<Order Of Heaven>
And the angels sang in immaculate chorus, and down from the heavens decended Chuck Norris!
My home town in Utah: It is illegal to walk an elephant down mainstreet. Now why in the heck would anyone want to walk an elephant down mainstreet.
Also in Utah there are a lot of restrictions that have me a little boggled at times. Utah is a very and I mean very religious state. Here are a few things I deal with or happen to notice.
No smoking within 50ft of any building and cannot smoke in any public building. Now they are trying to pass a law for no smoking in public bars; hence public area. I do not smoke but have delt enough with public relations that is annoys most smokers.
Hard alcohol is only bought in state liquor stores, which close before dark and are never open on Sundays. Alcohol that is bought in grocery stores is limited to only beer and wine coolers.
Playboy magazines or other magazines of that type cannot be bought anywhere to my knowledge. They were banned from local gas stations and books stores. Movies of that nature are also not found in any store but maybe up in Salt Lake City in an Adult store. However, it is rather hard to even find an adult store in the State of Utah. Most of these stores are ran out of the state by the local religious community.
I however live just a few hours outside of Las Vegas where these restrictions are non-existant. I lived in Las Vegas for a few years before returning to Utah and decided both cultures have positives and negatives.
In Las Vegas, hard alcohol is sold right on the self at a the supermarket, along with magazines and movies (although in an adult restricted section).
Laws very from state to state but I find living in such a prude state that most states have it easy compaired to the state I live in. The general population of Utah is around 90% Mormon, with strict religious views. I however do find raising my daughter in this state is a bit safer but also a tad sheltered from what the "real world" is really like. I just find these laws a little overboard. I notice that in most states I have traveled too, these items are readily available but in the state I live in they ban them just because of the religious influence.
No, I do not plan on remaining in this state and it is not because of what I mentioned earlier, I just find it odd the different laws that restrict our freedom and rights. Every states is different and ever state is going to have laws that are out landish...I just thought I would share with everyone some of the most popular debated ones in my state.
Also in Utah there are a lot of restrictions that have me a little boggled at times. Utah is a very and I mean very religious state. Here are a few things I deal with or happen to notice.
No smoking within 50ft of any building and cannot smoke in any public building. Now they are trying to pass a law for no smoking in public bars; hence public area. I do not smoke but have delt enough with public relations that is annoys most smokers.
Hard alcohol is only bought in state liquor stores, which close before dark and are never open on Sundays. Alcohol that is bought in grocery stores is limited to only beer and wine coolers.
Playboy magazines or other magazines of that type cannot be bought anywhere to my knowledge. They were banned from local gas stations and books stores. Movies of that nature are also not found in any store but maybe up in Salt Lake City in an Adult store. However, it is rather hard to even find an adult store in the State of Utah. Most of these stores are ran out of the state by the local religious community.
I however live just a few hours outside of Las Vegas where these restrictions are non-existant. I lived in Las Vegas for a few years before returning to Utah and decided both cultures have positives and negatives.
In Las Vegas, hard alcohol is sold right on the self at a the supermarket, along with magazines and movies (although in an adult restricted section).
Laws very from state to state but I find living in such a prude state that most states have it easy compaired to the state I live in. The general population of Utah is around 90% Mormon, with strict religious views. I however do find raising my daughter in this state is a bit safer but also a tad sheltered from what the "real world" is really like. I just find these laws a little overboard. I notice that in most states I have traveled too, these items are readily available but in the state I live in they ban them just because of the religious influence.
No, I do not plan on remaining in this state and it is not because of what I mentioned earlier, I just find it odd the different laws that restrict our freedom and rights. Every states is different and ever state is going to have laws that are out landish...I just thought I would share with everyone some of the most popular debated ones in my state.
Cassia Zephyr