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Dark Legacy MUD Forum • View topic - GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:




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 Post subject: GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 9:13 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 6:30 pm
Posts: 560
Location: florida
    1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
    2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
    second person.
    4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
    9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
    1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
    2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
    3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
    5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the
    toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

    1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while ou're
    down there.
    4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
    6) Time may be a great healer, b ut it's a lousy beautician.
    7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

    1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
    3) You are Santa Claus.
    4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS
    At age 4 success is . . not piddling in your pants.
    At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 17 success is . . having a drivers license.
    At age 35 success is . . having money.
    At age 50 success is . . . having money.
    At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers license.
    At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

Zidane and family wrote:
Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short. Dance naked.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 9:17 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 6:30 pm
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Location: florida
    A sick Puerto Rican husband was laying on his death bed.
    He had only hours to live when suddenly he smelled... pasteles.
    He dearly loved pasteles more than anything else in the world,
    especially his querida Maria's pasteles.
    With every last bit of the energy left in his mind and body, the terminally ill husband pulled himself
    out of bed, across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen.
    Here, his wife Maria was removing a fresh batch of pasteles from the stove top.
    >>As he reached for one of the freshly made pasteles, his wife gave him uncocotaso in the back of the head with a wooden spoon:
    "Leave them alone, pendejo!"
    "...They're for the funeral!"
Zidane wrote:
Can you believe it? Tina don't do this to me *begging*

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 3:42 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:16 pm
Posts: 377
Location: some where behind the washer
Wow zidane... for once in a llllooong while you made me laugh today.... maby your not all that bad after all.... then again.... you may have just gotten lucky


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 2:02 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 6:30 pm
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Location: florida
ShanaArkai wrote:
Wow zidane... for once in a llllooong while you made me laugh today.... maby your not all that bad after all.... then again.... you may have just gotten lucky
lol... when im not being with butt faces. im not a bad guy.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 2:17 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:16 pm
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Location: some where behind the washer
you should post more funny stuff, its... funny


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 3:41 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 6:30 pm
Posts: 560
Location: florida
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his
friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends"

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Everytime.
Wife replies," No, It means: With Idiot For Ever !!!"
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.
Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted,
dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.

A women asks man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these
kids yours??"
The man replies, " No, I work in a condom factory and these are
customer complaints".
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident
and confidential.
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential!"

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